It’s 2021… finally.
For the past two years around my birthday I make a point to take a break from writing about eco-friendly products and a sustainable lifestyle to write about what’s to come in the year ahead. I feel blessed to have my birthday at the beginning of the year because it coincides with the global push towards new year's resolutions. It’s that time when people have a collective renewed sense of purpose and try to become an even better version of themselves. So every year I naturally jump on the bandwagon, one year older and looking forward to growing into a new me as the year unfolds.
I’m turning the big 30 this year and I have to be honest. I’ve had a really hard time finding inspiration to write about the new year ahead. That #covidfatigue is real and it has been hitting me hard. This year has overall been extremely… challenging. I had no way of knowing that my 2020 new year’s resolution to be BRAVE in the year ahead would come to fruition in the way that it did. Like all of us, I had to be BRAVE. In the uncertainty of a pandemic and a new way of life, I had to be BRAVE in a way I didn’t imagine when I wrote my birthday post last January.
I don’t want to say 2020 was “terrible” or “the worst year ever” because I had some serious growth within myself that needed to happen. Change and growth are never easy. I know it’s corny, but that’s why they call it “growing pains”. Growth puts you in situations you’ve never been in before and sometimes that means making hard decisions. It’s not easy to grow. The past year was been exhausting and I cannot tell you how thankful I am to have a therapist to hold my hand as I navigated past traumas, current stressors, and dreams for the future. My friend, Sarah, likes to call her "B" so… massive shout out to the god send we call B. She is incredible.
While this year was extremely challenging on a global scale, it also had some great moments on a more personal level. Bryan got a promotion, I got to work from home full time (which I have been dreaming of), and we got to spend waaaay more time with Lila than we have on a daily basis in the past. Bike rides in the morning became a daily routine, our flower garden was incredible this year, Lila found out she will be a big sister in 2021, and I feel like this is the first time I can say that I am getting my money’s worth out of the house we live in. I say that because, in years past, I was so busy at work or with life events that sometimes it felt like I was paying thousands of dollars for a place to sleep and hold my stuff. We have spent A LOT of time at home and looking back on the thousands of pictures I took this year, I am grateful for our time together. Our pups have enjoyed having us around a lot more too.
Maybe I’m having trouble finding inspiration to write about how I want to tackle 2021 because… what if 2021 told 2020 to “hold my beer” and it’s actually going to be just as challenging? I can’t be the only one who has been wondering if we will actually get to live with a little less stress in the coming year. You can’t keep running on fumes forever, and I think for most of us, that covid fatigue has already maxed us out. Ya, maybe that’s why inspiration seems fleeting.
I have to say though, I am so excited for my thirties. My twenties were a roller coaster to say the least, and while there were so many amazing memories made and dreams that came true, there were also some very dark moments that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Fortunately, thanks to my family, friends, and the lovely B those dark moments inevitably helped me to grow into who I am today.
Why am I excited for my thirties?? Well, because I feel so much more sure of myself at the beginning of this decade than I did when I turned twenty. I was ready to take on the world at twenty, but I had little life experience to help guide me along the way. Now, I feel more sure of myself and I have resources I can pull from to help me navigate the next decade even better than the last.
So without writing about my dreams, goals, and desires for the next decade because let’s be real, that’s a whole other blog post, I want to keep it simple this year.
I mentioned earlier in this post that covid fatigue has had a hard grip on me and that we are expecting a baby boy come June 2021. Lila is beyond excited to be a big sister and we are so excited to welcome a new little one into our family.
When I found out I was pregnant mid October, I had no idea how different each pregnancy is from the last and I have never been so nauseous. Seriously, I don’t know why they call it "morning sickness", because I have been sick from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep with a gradual worsening throughout the day.
I was so spoiled when I was pregnant with Lila. I didn’t even have to pee in the middle of the night until like six months in!! This pregnancy has been the complete opposite and it’s hard to do anything when my body doesn’t feel it’s best. Although, I have been nesting like crazy so I guess no amount of nausea can get in the way of me making sure I feel prepared to bring a new life into the world. I am so excited to meet this little one in 2021, but let me tell ya… the pregnancy has been tough so far and based on input from friends, they experienced the same thing with their second child. It always feels good to know you’re not alone. #vulnerability
All of this being said, I was almost convinced that I was not going to write a birthday blog post this year. I haven’t been feeling well and the motivation to do anything beyond the absolute necessities has been hard to find.
BUT two things happened this week that made me switch gears.
First thing, I have been watching youtube again. I have had quite a bit of couch time because of the nausea and fun fact about me… I love learning about products, but especially beauty products. Shout out to Fleur Deforce and Nicole Guerriero! Side note, I would love to get into the beauty industry and shake it up from a sustainability standpoint.
BUT this year I was introduced to IntheFrow. Her content and vibe is great and you know what I freaking love?? She will actually write you back! I had so many questions about some of her video editing techniques and she answered all of my questions. Many times when people gain a large following they are hard to reach, but Victoria actually writes you back. It makes me feel like “we’re all in this together” and she’s not too famous to help others out along the way. Which is the truth about all of us right? We are all on a path and helping the ones behind us along the way can sometimes be the most important part of the journey. Thank you, Victoria. Sincerely, it means so much to me!
Anyways, Victoria filmed a vlog for the new year capturing some of her resolutions and she said something that really stuck with me. I am paraphrasing, but she said, “Walk into the new year your way. If you feel really motivated to tackle some resolutions, great! But if you feel like you might need some time to ease into the new year, that’s fine too. Do it at your own pace.” Why did this stick with me?
I think when this time of year comes around, there is peer pressure to jump into your resolutions. I mean come on, we’ve all seen the difference in attendance at the gym on January 1st versus three weeks later. Personally, I have not been feeling very motivated to jump into my resolutions because of the pregnancy nausea, but also because I still feel like the weight of 2020 is hanging on.
It’s ok to go at your own pace in order to succeed. I don’t want to burn out three weeks into the new year, I want sustained growth. Somehow this reminder took a bit of that weight off to be perfectly motivated for the new year. Thank you again, Victoria! Xo
Second thing, two words.
It was actually immediately after listening to two of his songs that I wrote this blog post.
So I have a task for you because no one can describe music, you have to listen to it to understand it.
Listen to “Hold on Tight” and just… relate. 2020 was tough. There are better times on the horizon though, I promise.
Now, listen to “My Way” and be... uplifted.
So at my own pace, I am going to keep this simple. What can you expect to see from thekyliebee in the year 2021?
I am passionate about a plastic-free planet. The negative effects on health and the environment because of plastic exposure and production are just too great to ignore. Exploring and reviewing sustainable products is something I love to do and share with my audience. I firmly believe that the market follows our hard earned dollars, so buying quality sustainable products is essential in our everyday lives. I mentioned my obsession with beauty products so there will absolutely be exploration in that industry for sustainable products, but I am also welcoming a baby boy into the world in June so sustainable mommy products here we come!!!
If there is one thing that I have been so grateful for this year, it’s the time I spent with my family. I will be more intentional about creating time for my family. I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how they want things to “go back to normal”. Well, what if there was a lot about the past “normal” that I was living before this pandemic that was toxic? What if it silenced what was important? Do I really want to go completely back to normal?? No, I don’t. I’m going to create a new normal in this part of my life because it’s just that important.
I’ve always been a dreamer. Without my dreams, I lose my spark. So, simply and in anticipation of what’s to come, here’s to conquering dreams this year and finding new ones to pursue.
There will be a lot happening with this blog and other social media platforms this year, but the only thing I can be truly certain of, there will be personal growth and I hope you will join me on this journey as you embark on your own version of 2021.
Maybe it’s just the pregnancy hormones, but I’m wrapping this blog post up a little teary. I started this 2021 year feeling weighed down and with a lack of inspiration, but I have to ask myself, was this 2020 reset on life actually perfect timing? There have been a lot of things in my life that I have been saying I’d like to change or dreams I’d like to see come true, but nothing happens. I either place blame the hustle and bustle of life or make excuses. Well, no more.
So here, as I sit wrapping this blog post up and heading into 2021 at my own pace, dare I say that I see a glimmer of inspiration. Dare I say that 2021 already sounds exhausting, but I’m ready to head into it with a full heart, lessons learned, and new dreams to follow. Because you know what it comes down to??
Aloe Blacc says it best. “The option of defeat is just not written in my story.”
So my wish for you this new year, move into 2021 at your own pace with a little more empathy and compassion for yourself and those around you. I’ll be chugging along right there beside you. #wegotthis #gonnadoitmyway
Until next time,